My First Day In Rehab

Happy Monday all!

You probably clicked this link for one of the following reasons: Perhaps you saw me in church yesterday and you’re wondering how I managed to find myself in Rehab overnight. Maybe you’re one of my Facebook friends who no longer interacts with me but secretly reads my blog in order to find out what’s happening in my life. Maybe you are a loyal follower of the blog and know that our titles aren’t always completely accurate and often exaggerate the truth.

Alas,

1) I am not in a rehabilitation centre, in fact, I am writing this in a computer room at work.

2) I am not addicted to any drugs; I am currently addicted to a person

I want to tell you the full story, you know, how I became addicted to another human being, so much so, that I am writing about it on my baby (this blog) but as you know, it’s not that kind of blog. Also, I already feel as though I overshare on here and this thing is becoming a bit like a diary. My friends often learn things about me by reading the blog (which is weird, right? Either I need to talk to them more or I need to share less….wait…I am digressing…back to the post..)

I want to give you some context, some insider information concerning yours truly.

1) I am obsessive

2) which means I can often become addicted to things.

My obsessive nature means I can think about the same thing every single day for about two years. That’s not an exaggeration. I like things to make sense and I like it when puzzles are solved so I often spend my time trying to connect the dots in my life and make sense of what I see around me. This obviously isn’t the healthiest trait I have. Yes, it has its advantages – I see things that others do not. I am constantly paying attention to things in my environment and changes in energy because these are all pieces of the puzzle. On the flip side, who wants to think about the same thing for two years?

Thankfully, I only know about my addictive nature because of food. I once ate the same thing every day for a year and half (hard dough bread and biscuits) and I can assure you that I never felt bored. Not once did I bite into that sandwich and feel dissatisfied; every time was like the first time. The only reason I added some variety to my diet is because my gums began to bleed because I was malnourished.

I can also be like this with people. I’m not as bad as I used to be but I really am the sort of person who can have one friend and be chill. Although with time I’ve become more of an introvert (which means I have to force myself to be sociable) I’ve never felt like I needed more than a few friends. I love people, I love connecting with them, I love loving them, but when I look back at my childhood and my teenage years, I usually had one friend that I was borderline obsessed with who I always made my ‘best friend’. Once we experienced that ‘click,’ that moment where we decided that were going to be friends forever, I sought to have them in every single day and I never, ever tired of them (quite like the hard dough bread sandwich). The problem with this way of living is that too much of one thing or one person is never healthy (see my bleeding gums as a reference point). Hard dough bread in itself is AMAZING but every day? Well, that’s ludicrous. One person can be great but unless their first name is Jesus and second name is Christ, things are bound to hit a roadblock at one point or another.

I am currently addicted to a person. A new person. A person that I don’t think I’ll tire of. A person who is making my gums bleed. You may also have a person in your life that you’re not too sure why they are there or whether they are meant to be there. You might also be addicted. This blog post is a bit different because I am still in the process of weaning myself off said person. Today is my first day in Rehab and here is what I am committed to doing:

1) Praying about it daily, asking God for strength, wisdom and courage.

2) Becoming accountable to my circle. They know what I am doing and why I am in rehab. When I fall off the bandwagon, I let them know. They remind why I made this decision and we begin again.

3) Being open to God’s will

We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps

Proverbs 16:9

I’ve made this decision but I am trusting and praying that whatever God has planned will come to pass.

4)Trusting that whatever He has for me, will be mine.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

5) Thanking Him daily for this experience, for the lessons I have learnt and for the people He is using to teach me.

6) Getting out of Rehab as soon as possible.

Lots of love,

Joy xxx